day 4 in the hospital

First let me thank you for your love and prayers. I couldn't get through the days without them. My mom told me today in Calgary- First Nazarene (my home church) had the entire congregation praying for me-- the thought of that makes me cry.

Well its day 4 of my hospital stay and originally it was thought i would be going home tomorrow, that has changed and we are not sure when i get out of here. I am trying to remind myself that here is the best place for me- but at times its hard...

Anyway- here's is something for you to think about-- early this morning i looked to see my great-great Gramma (Maude Shuart) standing at the end of my bed- even though i couldn't see her face i knew it was her.. was it a dream-- a vision-- does it matter- i know she was here and it was oddly comforting..

My doctor came by again- she has been coming in every day and today you could tell she was getting frustrated as the usual medications and solutions for combating my Hyperemesis Gravidarum are not working - not a surprise for me "the usual" usually doesn't work on me anyway. Although i am glad she is still hopeful and looking for other options. She told me i am stable now- which is better than when i came in, and although i am still losing weight at least its has slowed down. Now i have some of the "fake weight" the weight from all the IV fluids being pumped into me constantly.. My mom said that's what she has "fake weight" and wanted to know how she can lose weight in her sleep like i am able to- she says she gains weight in her sleep! My doctor also told me i have to train my body to eat food again- rather than eating me since that is what it is doing- literally. It has gone for so long without food, it doesn't know what to do with it and is breaking me down little by little.. She told me to eat whatever i crave- tonight i had mashed potatoes-- great going down-- not so good coming up. But it did stay down for 10 minutes!!
Shamus is off to Calgary this week for a course with CBS so its just my mom and Toryn here. Toryn has been amazing- even though his world has been turned upside down he is still wonderful. He has a smile on his face, saying hi to everyone he meets- what a little charmer! he really is the best little boy in the world- or as his Gramma says 'hes perfect!"

Thanks again everyone for the love, prayers, support, texts and emails- and to my doctor and nurses who are doing everything they can for "baby bear" and mommy!